Do you know a know-it-all? The type where they are so sure of their opinions that they actually believe their opinion as fact? Yeah. So do I.
This particular know-it-all and I conflict, hard. We just don’t get along. Her presence alone sends tension up my spine and puts a stern look on my face. I dread when she opens her mouth and cringe when she speaks. But it wasn’t always this way. There was an incident or two … or three, where we disagreed. The more we disagreed on things, the more dislike developed between us.
The thing is, I think this particular person and I are more alike than I really want to admit. We both feel passionately that we will fight hard for the things we believe. This is an admirable trait, except when you get two people with different beliefs where there can only be one solution. Either one must be defeated or you compromise.
That need to be the expert, the right one, the most knowledgable – it pulls us down into a pit of pride we probably would never label as such.
But there’s one really big difference between the two of us. I can look at the situation objectively. I can step outside my need to be right, take a look at the bigger picture, and put my pride aside for the greater good. She cannot. The more she fights her side, the more she believes she is right.
“The less we feel we need to address pride in our lives, the more it has already blinded us.”
Earlier in the book, Uninvited, TerKeurst talks about her experience with a lion. She basically says a lion doesn’t give a shit who you are or what you do, if the lion is hungry, it will eat you. (Except she says it much more eloquently.) I think of the irony that a pack of lions is called a pride, because the behavior is similar.
A person so full of pride doesn’t care who you are or what you do, he or she will “fight you to the death” to prove they are right. TerKeurst says, “The injured lion is the most vicious of all.” And how true is that? Once that prideful person feels they are losing the battle, that’s when the claws really come out.
Pride can be dangerous. (The lion type too.) Typically, we feel the need to boast about ourselves when we feel less than or rejected in some way. Think about that in the sense of the know-it-all who is so prideful that they believe their opinion as fact. They must feel so unfilled in whatever capacity that they are desperately seeking validation and acceptance from others.
Now, I don’t know that these are the reasons why this particular know-it-all is the way that she is. But it makes a lot of sense, and it’s helped me cope with her attitude. Every time she puts up a battle, I think about her need to win the argument. Because really, it’s not about the argument at all.
In the grand scheme of things, if she’s willing to tear others down (or whatever desperate move she makes) to get what she wants, that says a lot more about her than it does about anything else.