I came across a TEDTalk presented by human connection researcher Brené Brown. It’s a 20 minute presentation that I highly recommend watching. She keeps you engaged, and you’re left feeling inspired and grateful.
Brown talks about her research and how human connection boils down to (among other things) vulnerability and worthiness. Human connection is what gives our lives purpose. It’s neurobiological wiring. But to have connection, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. We need to expose ourselves and be vulnerable. In her research, Brown found that when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about connection, they tell you about disconnection. These people have been vulnerable.
Vulnerability is necessary. It’s a willingness to do something when there are no guarantees. But we are afraid of the unknown. We put up guards against vulnerability to protect ourselves. We numb it with alcohol, medication, food, and money. But vulnerability is the birthplace of beauty, love, joy, and creativity. We have to believe that we are worthy of beauty, creativity, joy, love and belonging. To have a connection we need to feel we are worthy of connection.